Weekend Read: Let “Shoulds” Take the Backseat

Welcome to a slightly more relaxed chat this weekend. Thank you kindly for all of the reads, shares, follows and comments from last weeks read.

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There is enough action happening out of obligation in the world. I would like us to reframe our thinking and reconnect with what is important to us. Then our actions will come from a place of happiness and excitement, and not just from the feeling of “should”.

How often do these thoughts run through your mind?

• I should go to the gym.
• I should go visit family.
• I should tidy the office.
• I should walk my dog more often.
• I should cancel my medical appointment, I don’t really have time.
• I should write more.
• I should listen more.
• I should think more.
• I should be more caring.

Sooner or later, all that you should be doing is having a lie down because you’re exhausted from the weight of all of those expectations, amirite?!

But you are the only one that has placed those expectations on yourself (usually).

For one week, trying changing the thoughts to do:

• I would like to go to the gym.
• I would like to visit family.
• I would like to clean the office.
• I would like to walk my dog more often.
• I would like to prioritise my health and make time for that appointment.
• I would like to write more.
• I would like to listen more.
• I would like to think more.
• I would like to be more caring.

When I have a good run of thinking like this, my entire week flips on itself.

I drive in the car getting excited to see my friends at the gym and to workout. I feel warmth when I check in with family to see when they are free for me to visit. And so on.

If you are struggling to make those little changes in your day or week that you know are going to benefit you and make you happy, like carving time at the end of the day to read, try adjusting the words to this, and see how it goes.

The hardest thing is continuing the momentum you can build with a week of good habits or re-framing. That’s part of the reason why I made this blog. The world won’t be falling over if I miss a post, but I like the continued momentum and the feedback I am getting from those of you who like reading these posts.

In that sense, I am really happy to say that the tagline of my blog, ‘community | inspires| momentum’, is playing out for myself as much as what I hope to achieve for anybody else. I am the luckiest person in the world if I can generate my own happiness and inspiration.

I am the luckiest person in the world if I get to share my thoughts with people and one other person has a feeling of connection from that.

I am the luckiest person in the world because I am in such a fortunate position. I am safe on my couch. I am safe in my house. I am safe in my town and my country and my world. I am extremely privileged and the whole purpose of featuring people on this blog is to demonstrate what other people are doing with their own privilege, or indeed despite a lack of it.

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The other great habit changing tool is to replace “I have to” with “I get to”, something I’ve definitely spoken about in the past to many of my friends. This one is great if you are feeling overwhelmed or burdened with too many tasks.

• I have to pick up the kids early today – becomes I get to pick up the kids early today
• I have to wake up early to walk the dogs – becomes I get to wake up early to walk the dogs, etc.

This is a really lovely way to reframe what you are prioritising, and remember why it is a good thing that you are doing those things. Things can be both an obligation and a pleasure. The kids have the get picked up, that’s not negotiable. But what is negotiable is how you feel when you get there.